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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29876583">No More What Ifs</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/uwufordubu/pseuds/uwufordubu'>uwufordubu</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>TWICE (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Childhood Friends, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, i think lol, special guest appearance from namo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-05-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 02:34:26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>13,571</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29876583</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/uwufordubu/pseuds/uwufordubu</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>in which dahyun's best friend moves away and her first love never stops loving her.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kim Dahyun/Minatozaki Sana, Kim Dahyun/Son Chaeyoung</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>40</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Chaeyoung liked to draw pretty girls. She always has. Her inspiration for her art was the beauty of the world. From flowers to kitty cats to butterflies to pretty girls, and pretty girls were the "most beautiful-est thing in the world."</p><p>Although, her drawings weren't as pretty as the girls. Not yet anyway. After all, she was merely four years old, sitting on a bench at a playground, doodling stick figures only distinguishable by the color and length of scribbles that represented hair.</p><p>It wasn't a complicated routine. Sit under the shade, and draw whichever one of her peers she finds pretty that day. It seemed like a good idea at first, but then she started running out of girls to draw. She wasn't gonna draw the caretakers; she held a grudge against them (They confiscated her drawing book when it was naptime; she'll never, ever forgive them), and she definitely wasn't going to draw any of the boys. Boys are yucky, and they aren't pretty at all.</p><p>The amount of children running around at high speed wasn't helping either. Defeated, she picked up a dandelion and decided to draw it instead. Some yucky boys had different plans, however.</p><p>She was dragged to the base of a tall, yellow jungle gym. She tried to resist, but alas, the yucky boys had the superior strength. Stupid, yucky boys.</p><p>"Leader Mingi! I bring you this girl! She, uh, can draw treasure maps for the Wolf Warriors!" the boy called out to the top of the structure.</p><p>"Bring her up, Warrior Chan!" the other boy called back.</p><p>"Hey, I don't wanna play with you guys," Chaeyoung protested.</p><p>"Too bad! Chan already brought you here." Mingi said. "Tell the Falcon Soldiers that we have two girls now."</p><p>A couple minutes go by and Chaeyoung was now seated next to a girl wearing plaid pajama pants, the two guarded by Mingi’s goons. She was significantly calmer than Chaeyoung, as this was not her first rodeo (or hostage situation in this case). In fact, the plaid pajama pants girl was munching away at some cookies she smuggled into the playground. Despite the less than ladylike behavior and questionable fashion choices (not that Chaeyoung had any place in judging fashion. Her mom picks out her clothes), Chaeyoung thought she qualified as a pretty girl.</p><p>So she drew said pretty girl, and when she finished she decided to show the plaid pajama pants girl her portrait. Usually she wouldn’t show her models their portraits. After all, she barely knew any of her peers. But since her muse was right in front of her this time, why not?</p><p>“Look-it!” Chaeyoung held up the mess of colorful scribbles proudly to the plaid pajama pants girl. “It’s you! I even drew your pants and cookies!”</p><p>“Wow, thanks!” the girl looked at the paper, seemingly inspecting each crayon stroke. “It looks great!” Chaeyoung beamed at the compliment.</p><p>“Oh hey,” Mingi snatched the paper away. “We can use this as a war letter to the Falcon Soldiers.”</p><p>“Hey! Give that back! It’s not for you!” Chaeyoung got up and tried to take the paper back, her height hindering her from succeeding. “Be careful! You’ll wrinkle it!”</p><p>In what seemed to be a split second, the drawing had transformed into a paper airplane sailing across the playground in the direction of the other jungle gym, a blue one belonging to the Falcon Soldiers.</p><p>It was at that exact moment Chaeyoung decided that she now hated yucky boys.</p><p>“You’re so mean!” An uncharacteristically loud voice for a comically small girl. “C’mon, we’re leaving.”</p><p>“You can’t leave! It’s against the rules!”</p><p>If playing the boys’ game was the only means of escape, then so be it.</p><p>“We’re busting out of here!” Chaeyoung proceeded to punch the air in Mingi's direction. “My hands shoot lasers! You can’t touch me!”</p><p>“Y-you can’t do that!” Mingi stuttered in disbelief. “It’s against the-”</p><p>“Well I'm a girl, and girls have superpowers!” Chaeyoung punched the air some more. “You can’t stop me!” She grabbed the other girl’s hand and made a break for it.</p><p>“Wow! How come I didn’t think of that?” The other girl watched in awe, lagging slightly behind, as Chaeyoung maneuvered her way around the jungle gym. “I’m Dahyun!”</p><p>“Dahyun did you see where it went?” Chaeyoung scanned the playground frantically.</p><p>Dahyun pointed at the sandbox, unable to speak as she had just shoved another cookie into her mouth. Just as the two girls reached their destination, yet another yucky boy and his posse blocked their way. “Look Renjun! it’s the Wolf Warriors’ girls! Let’s take ‘em!”</p><p>It’s not long until the two girls are being held hostage yet again, one too many times for Chaeyoung’s liking. Dahyun was still eating her cookies, and Chaeyoung was planning their escape, but she was too upset at the state of her drawing more than anything else.</p><p>Actually, it was more anger than upset… Yeah, she’s had enough.</p><p>“Pew pew pew! I blew up your entire castle!” Chaeyoung exclaimed. Renjun was too shocked to react (What kind of girl plays like this? Why did she keep breaking the rules?).</p><p>In Renjun's stunned confusion, Chaeyoung reclaimed her drawing and, unfortunately for Renjun, pushed him off the jungle gym.</p><p>“You can keep it.” Chaeyoung handed the drawing to Dahyun. “I'm Chaeyoung.”</p><p>“Wow, thanks Chaeyoung!” Dahyun beamed at Chaeyoung and handed her a cookie, the last of its kind. “You can have my last cookie!” Chaeyoung ate the cookie in pride.</p><p>Their glorious moment was stopped short by a crying boy at the bottom of the jungle gym. Needless to say, they spent the rest of the day together in time-out.</p><p>It doesn’t take long for the two to fully establish their friendship, though.</p><p>“Why’d you play with them? They’re mean. And yucky,” Chaeyoung asked, playing with her untied sneakers.</p><p>“They said they wouldn’t tell on me,” Dahyun shrugged.</p><p>Who would’ve thought that their first ever shared offense in the long line of shared offenses would be the possession of playground contraband? (They like to consider the part where they pushed Renjun as completely justified and that they were wrongfully punished).</p><p>-</p><p>It only takes two weeks to become best friends. Well, for Chaeyoung and Dahyun, at least. They were each other’s only friend, so it made sense that the title of friend defaulted to best.</p><p>At first, Chaeyoung didn’t really care for friends. They were loud and distracted her from her art. Not Dahyun. Dahyun never bombarded her with variations of “What’s that” or “Can you draw this for me?” or “Why that color?” She always sat and watched, waiting for Chaeyoung to finish with a “Ta-da!”</p><p>There was, however, one day when Dahyun asked Chaeyoung to draw something for her.</p><p>“Can you draw me and you?”</p><p>It was also the only day Chaeyoung accepted a request.</p><p>-</p><p>Dahyun had never done this before. The most reckless thing she had ever done was agree to wrestle with her older brother. This was brand new territory.</p><p>“Don’t be scared. We’ll be fine. I’ve done this a <em> brazillian </em>times before,” Chaeyoung bragged, adding emphasis on “brazillian.” She grabbed her friend by the cheeks and pinches. She continued, “I'll sit in the front. So if we do fall, you fall on me, and you don’t get hurt.”</p><p>“But <em> you’ll </em>get hurt.”</p><p>“I won’t!” Chaeyoung saw the worry in Dahyun’s face and pinched her cheeks again. “I promise!”</p><p>Dahyun reluctantly climbed into the back of the laundry basket, Chaeyoung following suit. The moment Chaeyoung settled into her spot Dahyun immediately wrapped her arms around her back. In a split second, Dahyun’s fear was replaced with euphoria. They rapidly descended down the stairs, leaving a <em> thump </em>after each step. Miraculously, they arrived at the bottom unscathed.</p><p>By the end of their play date, it felt like they did, in fact, go down the stairs a “brazillian” times, each time as exciting as the last, each time accompanied by wildly imaginative scenarios ranging from racing giant pterodactyls to going down the biggest waterfall in the universe to “Avalanche!!!” It was exhausting to say the least. After all, they had to climb back up the stairs every single time. They didn’t care. It was worth it.</p><p>-</p><p>Dahyun and Chaeyoung always worked together as a team.</p><p>Not this time.</p><p>This time, Dahyun’s parents invited Chaeyoung to a milkshake parlor. This time, the two have come across the most polarizing question of their entire existence: What is the best flavor?</p><p>Dahyun argues that it’s chocolate. It’s sweet and yummy and not a fruit and chocolate milk is the best thing in the world.</p><p>Chaeyoung argues that it’s strawberry. It's pink and sweet and yummier and strawberry milk is the bestest thing in the world.</p><p>Obviously, they couldn’t argue any further than that; the vocabulary and comprehension of five year olds isn’t that well developed. Instead, they decide to prove the superior flavor by means of a contest. Whoever finishes their milkshake first is right (Their logic is that if it’s tastier then it would get finished faster). If Dahyun finishes first, chocolate is better. If Chaeyoung finishes first, strawberry is better.</p><p>The contest didn’t last long. Their tiny little heads, although competitive, were no match for the evil, unstoppable force of brain freezes. They call a truce for now and hold off on the competition in favor of enjoying their milkshakes to the fullest, brain freeze-less, enjoyment.</p><p>Maybe next time they return they’ll retry the competition and get brain freezes all over again.</p><p>-</p><p>Today was Dahyun’s sixth birthday. She was finally at the age when she was allowed to have and go to sleepovers. Naturally, she had a slumber party. Well, it wasn’t really a party per se (Chaeyoung was the only non-family member attendant), but the thought was still there. The two wore colorful party hats and pretended they were crowns. It’s Dahyun’s birthday, and she deserves to be treated like royalty. And as requested, the birthday cake was half-chocolate and half-strawberry.</p><p>Chaeyoung hasn't entered Dahyun's bedroom before today. The moment she walks in, she is warmly greeted with the scent of <em> Dahyun </em>; it was her favorite smell, and to find a place where it was extremely concentrated? Chaeyoung didn’t want to breathe any where else besides here.</p><p>Her bedroom is that of a typical freshly-six-year-old girl. The walls were cream colored, somehow complemented by the Hello Kitty bed sheets and over-abundance of stuffed toy animals. The carpet felt soft against Chaeyoung’s toes. She imagines the stuffed toy animals feel the same, maybe even softer. In the corner sat a keyboard with messily written letters on the keys. Above it were decals of music notes scattered around the room that lead to an entire bulletin board of drawings that Chaeyoung gave to Dahyun. The first drawing she ever gave to Dahyun sat in the middle and the one Dahyun requested right next to it. It made her feel… <em> happy? No, that’s not it. It’s more than that. </em>Her child-sized vocabulary fails her yet again.</p><p>“You kept them? All of them?” Chaeyoung asked.</p><p>“Of course I did. They’re my favorite pictures in the whole world.”</p><p>“Which one’s your favorite favorite?”</p><p>Dahyun hummed in contemplation for a moment before she finally decided. “That one,” she pointed to the one artwork Chaeyoung made with paint instead of crayons or markers. It's a painting of a house in a grassy field. Its inhabitants consist of two girls and a cat. Glittery hearts distributed around the page. Everyone in the picture has a smile, even the sun.</p><p>“I like that one too.”</p><p>Chaeyoung explored the room a little further and ended up at the keyboard. “Can you play piano?”</p><p>“Not really. I wanna learn though,” Dahyun admitted, turning on the keyboard.</p><p>She played the tune of Mary Had a Little Lamb.</p><p>“That’s so cool! Where’d you learn that?” Chaeyoung was awestruck.</p><p>“I taught myself! I listened to the song and pressed the keys until it sounded right!”</p><p>Dahyun liked to listen to music. She always has. It’s like she’s the auditory version of the visual Chaeyoung. In fact, Dahyun’s earliest memory is of her dancing to her dad’s favorite classic rock songs and singing her mom’s favorite trot songs. Dahyun and music were inseparable, much like her and Chaeyoung. Even as a baby, a crying Dahyun would calm down at the sound of music.</p><p>For the most part, she liked the way music made her <em> feel </em>. Though, she could only comprehend sad music and happy music (She didn’t like the way sad music felt, but she liked the way it sounded. It’s conflicting).</p><p>She wants to learn to play music. She's learning the basics of piano, but when she’s bored she’d play random notes and somehow create a real melody. Sometimes she’d get it stuck in her head and then somehow get it stuck in Chaeyoung’s head. Chaeyoung never complained though. The melodies always sounded nice. They made her feel happy.</p><p>-</p><p>Dahyun and Chaeyoung don’t really remember when they met Tzuyu. It occurred one day during recess. Dahyun was humming a tune while watching Chaeyoung draw whatever she found pretty that day, the usual.</p><p>“You ever notice that no one wants to hang out with us?” Dahyun spoke up.</p><p>“Yeah. Don’t care though,” Chaeyoung answered, delicately adding a stroke of yellow to her drawing.</p><p>Why would she care? She didn’t like the other kids. She only ever wanted to hang out with Dahyun. She always did.</p><p>And Dahyun wasn’t complaining either. She only wanted to hang out with Chaeyoung too. She did, however, find it a little weird that no one ever approached them. The other kids had ever growing friend groups, and then there’s <em> Dahyun and Chaeyoung </em>.</p><p>It wasn’t until the next day that Dahyun introduced Chaeyoung to Tzuyu. And how could Chaeyoung say no? Dahyun looked so happy to make a new friend; who the hell was Chaeyoung to deny Dahyun that happiness?</p><p>Tzuyu was the perfect compliment to the two girls. She didn’t talk when she didn’t have to, and she perfectly played along with Dahyun’s jokes. She liked Chaeyoung’s art and Dahyun’s music. She was nice and goofy and real pretty too (Dahyun and Chaeyoung agreed that she was the prettiest girl alive). And to top it all off, she was the best at playing pretend.</p><p>Tzuyu’s addition to their friendship was like adding the last stroke to a colorful abstract painting, was like playing the final chord to your favorite song, was like the cherry-on-top to a strawberry-chocolate milkshake.</p><p>It was <em> Dahyun, Chaeyoung, and Tzuyu. </em></p><p>-</p><p>Dahyun was nine years old when she and Tzuyu went on a trip with Chaeyoung’s family. Actually, it’d be more accurate to say that they snuck onto a trip with Chaeyoung’s family.</p><p>The plan seemed flawless in their young minds: lie down in the back of the van and don’t make a noise (They would’ve gotten away with it too if it weren’t for that meddling rear-view mirror). But alas, the road was too bumpy and the girls could no longer stand their ground.</p><p>“You know, Dahyun. You can just sit in the car seat. We don’t mind you coming to a theme park with us,” Chaeyoung’s dad called from the driver’s seat.</p><p>“You blew our cover,” Dahyun accused, getting settled in the car seat.</p><p>“I'm not the one he caught,” Tzuyu quipped.</p><p>Before they knew it, two hours passed by and they were at the front gates to Magic Space Universe, the place where “no dream is out of this world.”</p><p>The three girls were radiating excitement. They wanted to go on this ride and that ride, visit this place and that place, check out this thing and that thing. They wanted to experience the park in its entirety.</p><p> </p><p>It feels like they remember nothing and everything from that day. They spun so fast they couldn’t walk straight after teacups, they felt the perfect breeze from the top of the swing rides, and they pretended to be in a high speed car chase in bumper cars. But then it came time for the rollercoasters (which Tzuyu was deathly afraid of. She decided to abstain), and unfortunately for them, most had height requirements that made Chaeyoung feel shorter than she already was. Sure Dahyun was tall enough to ride some of them, but there was no way in hell she’d leave Chaeyoung behind. They do everything together. They always do.</p><p>“Hey, Chaeng! How about this one?” Dahyun tried, one last time.</p><p>Chaeyoung steps up to the giant ruler and, lo and behold, she was tall enough to ride.</p><p>Dahyun was reluctant to leave Tzuyu behind. “Seriously you guys can go. Don’t let me stop you from having fun,” Tzuyu reassured.</p><p>“But <em> you </em>won’t have fun."</p><p>“I'm already having fun this whole day,” Tzuyu gave a warm smile, urging Dahyun to ride the rollercoaster with Chaeyoung.</p><p>When the two reached the front of the line, fear began rushing into Dahyun’s mind. “You know, I'm feeling real guilty ‘cause we left Tzuyu behind.”</p><p>Dahyun does this thing where she comes up with as many excuses as possible when she’s scared. Chaeyoung sees through it every time, of course, but best friends don’t let their best friends be scared. Best friends help their best friends be brave.</p><p>“She said it’s fine.”</p><p>Chaeyoung does this thing where she grabs Dahyun’s cheeks to calm her down. It works every time, because every time, Dahyun is too preoccupied with prying Chaeyoung off her face to focus on being scared. It works until they get into their seats.</p><p>“Remember when we were at the top of the stairs for the first time,” Chaeyoung spoke up. “And you were scared we were gonna get hurt."</p><p>Dahyun tried to control her breathing, the clicking sound of the ride was ringing in her ears.</p><p>Chaeyoung continued, “Well, it’s just like that. Just bigger and funner." she grabs Dahyun’s hand and interlaces their fingers as they reach the peak. “I’ll always be by your side. I promise.” and just like that, Dahyun’s fear is replaced with euphoria yet again (Maybe this time it wasn’t just from the ride).</p><p>-</p><p>That same summer, Chaeyoung finally convinced Dahyun to take the shortcut to her house. Chaeyoung was looking at a map of their neighborhood when she found out their houses were right across from each other, just separated by a large wooded area.</p><p>Being under the trees granted them a cool and calming atmosphere, a great getaway from the heat and intensity of the summer sun. There’s a small stream running through, making the faintest sound of running water. Chirping birds can be heard in all directions. It was a definite contrast to the bustle of the neighborhood. They preferred it here; it was the only place they were truly in their own world.</p><p>Dahyun picked up a stick of decent length (It was her sword now), and she swung it around, hitting a series of tree trunks and shrubs as she followed behind Chaeyoung. Their trek lasted a short while until they arrived at a wooden structure.</p><p>“Surprise!” Chaeyoung exclaimed. “Me and my dad built a treehouse! Well, it was mostly him, but I watched!”</p><p>It was the coolest thing Dahyun had ever seen, and she thinks everything Chaeyoung does is the coolest thing she’d ever seen. She immediately ran into the structure. It wasn’t too spacious, but it was enough to fit five, maybe six people.</p><p>“I love it!” Dahyun pulled Chaeyoung into a tight hug. “You’re the best person ever!”</p><p>Chaeyoung is engulfed in her favorite scent again, and she doesn’t want Dahyun to ever let go.</p><p>-</p><p>They didn’t always see the treehouse as a treehouse. Some days it was a spaceship, and the trio would be fighting off aliens who want to take over the planet. Other days, it was a castle, and they had to protect Tzuyu’s kingdom from the zombie apocalypse. Sometimes it was a haunted house, and they were ghost hunters expelling the evil spirits. Other times, it was a pirate ship, and they were out looking for treasure. No matter what scenario their little minds could come up with, the main mission of their game was to work as a team, never apart. Even if they disagreed on a plot point, they always came to a compromise.</p><p>Occasionally, the group would just enjoy each other’s company. Dahyun would fiddle around with her new ukulele that she begged her parents for, Chaeyoung would draw the scenery or Dahyun or Tzuyu, and Tzuyu would read a book. They didn’t have to talk to enjoy each other, They just had to be there. It was their safe haven. It all belonged to them.</p><p>-</p><p>One time Chaeyoung got in a huge fight with her mom. She and Dahyun met up at the treehouse after dinner that day. Chaeyoung had already set up a makeshift bed for the two of them.</p><p>“Bro,” Dahyun said, setting down her backpack. “What’s this?”</p><p>“I don’t wanna sleep at home tonight.”</p><p>“Why not sleep at my house?”</p><p>“I don’t wanna bother your parents.”</p><p>Dahyun sat down next to Chaeyoung. “What happened?”</p><p>“I don’t wanna talk about it.”</p><p>“Okay,” Dahyun said simply. She pulled out an assortment of snacks from her backpack. “I brought Pocky.” She handed Chaeyoung a pink box and grabbed a red box for herself. They ate their snacks in comfortable silence.</p><p>Dahyun wasn’t good at advice, so she never pried when Chaeyoung didn’t wanna talk. Chaeyoung didn’t want advice anyway; she wanted comfort. She wanted her best friend.</p><p>“Remember last summer when we went on the rollercoaster together?” Dahyun broke the silence.</p><p>“Of course I do.”</p><p>“Remember what you said to me when we reached the top?”</p><p>Chaeyoung nodded as she put the strawberry flavored biscuit in her mouth</p><p>Dahyun reached back into her backpack and pulled out a spherical object. She set it on the floor, just in front of the makeshift bed, and turned it on. The ceiling of the treehouse became illuminated by pictures of radiant galaxies. The stars and planets roamed the walls of the treehouse, coloring them in deep blues, majestic purples, vivid yellows, and glistening pinks.</p><p>She once again joined Chaeyoung on the bed. She watched the way Chaeyoung’s eyes followed the planets and how they seemed to sparkle like the stars.</p><p>“You said that you’d always be by my side,” Dahyun continued as she took Chaeyoung’s hand into her own, her fingers finding comfortable positions within the spaces between Chaeyoung’s. “I wanted to let you know that I'd always be by your side too. I promise.”</p><p>Before long, the two of them were hugging under the sheets. Chaeyoung was once again engulfed in her favorite scent, and Dahyun was once again hugging who she believed to be the best person ever. She hopes that Dahyun never, ever lets go.</p><p>And then it hit her. Chaeyoung realized that they promised to always be by each other’s side. <em> They promised. </em> She wanted to panic and think about the implications that this specific promise has. She knew that they couldn’t keep their promise because-</p><p>She was too exhausted to think anymore.</p><p>The two of them fell asleep, and the projector ran out of battery shortly after.</p><p>-</p><p>Chaeyoung has been getting into a lot of fights with her mom recently. After each one she goes to Dahyun. It doesn’t matter what they do, as long as she goes to Dahyun. Dahyun makes her feel better. Dahyun makes her feel happy.</p><p>This time she shows up with a duffel bag full of paint.</p><p>“I had a fight with my mom again,” Chaeyoung announced, setting the duffel on the side of Dahyun’s bed.</p><p>“Do you wanna talk about it?” Dahyun always asks, but she knows the answer never changes.</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“Okay.” Chaeyoung never talks about it, but at least she knows that Dahyun would listen to her anytime. Dahyun decided to change the subject. “What’s the paint for?”</p><p>Chaeyoung looked at the one wall in Dahyun’s bedroom that remained untouched by her artwork. “Can I paint your wall?”</p><p>“Sure,” Dahyun sat at her keyboard and began practicing. “Go nuts.”</p><p>“Don’t look until I'm done.”</p><p>A few hours went by and Dahyun was starting to run out of things to play on the piano. She played through her entire piano book collection, all Chaeyoung’s favorite songs, and even all the theme songs of her favorite cartoons.</p><p>“Okay,” Chaeyoung said finally. “You can look now.”</p><p>Dahyun turned her head to face the now-painted wall. Her jaw dropped to the floor. <em> It’s beautiful </em>. It didn’t look like a ten-year-old painted it at all (Chaeyoung’s prodigious side was showing).</p><p>A vibrant galaxy adorned Dahyun’s wall. It was way better than the projector Dahyun brought to the treehouse that night for two reasons: Chaeyoung painted it and this was how Chaeyoung saw the beauty in the stars. She painted the planets (even Pluto) in a harmonious rainbow, painted the stars in bright yellows and golds, painted the comets in fiery reds. even the background was a mix of rich purples and blues. It was impossible to describe the wall using one color; It felt like it had them all. </p><p>“This is the best thing ever,” Dahyun hugged Chaeyoung. “I mean it for real this time. I love it so much.”</p><p>It’s her favorite scent again.</p><p>
  <em> Dahyun, please never let go. </em>
</p><p>-</p><p>Tomorrow was the first day of summer, the last summer before middle school. Chaeyoung <em> dreaded </em>tomorrow. Dahyun, Chaeyoung, and Tzuyu met up at the treehouse after the last day of school. They were finally done with elementary school, and they were at the cusp of a new era.</p><p>“What do you wanna do today?” Dahyun asked, bouncing a rubber ball against the wall.</p><p>“Burn my school books,” Tzuyu responded, garnering laughter from the other two girls.</p><p>“We’re not allowed to play with fire,” Dahyun said blatantly.</p><p>“You guys wanna play something?” Chaeyoung asked, picking up a stick. “Pirates? Zombies? Pirate zombies?”</p><p>“Not really,” Dahyun admits. “It’s pretty hot today. I kinda want to just talk.”</p><p>“A-about what?” Chaeyoung stuttered nervously.</p><p>“I don’t know. Middle school? We’re going to middle school next year. It's like when teenager stuff starts.”</p><p>“Teenager stuff starts at thirteen. We’re turning eleven,” Tzuyu points out.</p><p>“Okay, but still... It’s gonna be a lot of firsts. Like first kiss, first date, all that stuff.”</p><p>“Why do you care so much about dating?” It sounded harsher than Chaeyoung intended.</p><p>“I'm just saying,” Dahyun shrugged. “That’s what people do in middle school, right?”</p><p>“You should be worrying more about getting your first period,” Tzuyu deadpanned.</p><p>“Sh-shut up! you know-”</p><p>“Hey,” Chaeyoung decided to speak up. Now or never. “I'm not going to middle school with you.”</p><p>“What? Did you fail or something?” Dahyun asked, confused.</p><p>“No... I'm not gonna be here next year…” She lowered her voice. “I'm not even gonna be here tomorrow.”</p><p>“What are you talking about?” disbelief flooded Dahyun’s tone.</p><p>“I'm moving away tomorrow. We’re moving somewhere far away.”</p><p><em> What are you talking about? You’re moving away tomorrow? Why? Where? Why are you telling me this now? </em> Dahyun wanted to ask so much, but nothing came out of her mouth.</p><p>“That’s why I've been fighting with my mom so much,” Chaeyoung continued. “She told me we were leaving and that it was final, but I want to stay.”</p><p>Dahyun’s expression was unreadable. She didn’t even know exactly how Chaeyoung was making her feel right now. It was a combination of anger, confusion, fear, betrayal, and sadness.</p><p>“I tried my hardest to convince her to stay here, I did, I really did,” Chaeyoung pleaded.</p><p>Dahyun still didn’t speak. Tears were stinging at the corner of her eyes.</p><p>“She said she got a job in some big city that I can’t say the name of.” Chaeyoung tried to meet Dahyun’s eyes. “I'm sorry. Don’t be mad.”</p><p>Dahyun didn’t want to be mad at Chaeyoung.</p><p>“It’s getting late... I have to go home now...” Tzuyu said, getting up. “I'm gonna miss you Chaeng.” They hugged, and Tzuyu left.</p><p>“You’re gonna leave me?” Dahyun finally asks, tears finally falling from her eyes.</p><p>Chaeyoung cupped Dahyun’s face with her hands, but instead of pinching her cheeks, she wiped away the tears.</p><p>“I'm gonna stay by your side, I promised.”</p><p>“How are you gonna do that if you’re not even here?” Dahyun’s voice broke at the last word.</p><p>“I- I don’t know, but I-” Chaeyoung didn’t know what to say. This was the first time the silence felt anything other than comfortable.</p><p>“I still wanted to do so much more stuff with you,” Dahyun was the first to break the silence.</p><p>“Like what?” Chaeyoung wiped away more of Dahyun’s tears. Usually wiping away Dahyun’s tears cheered her up. It was a way of telling her that Chaeyoung was there for her, but now it was hard to believe that Chaeyoung would be there at all.</p><p>“Like... do teenager stuff with you.” the tears stop falling.</p><p>“The stuff you were talking about earlier?”</p><p>“What if we do those things and we can’t even tell each other about it?”</p><p>Chaeyoung recalled Dahyun’s words. <em> First kiss, first date, all that stuff. </em></p><p>“What if we did one of those teenager stuff right now? Would that cheer you up?” Chaeyoung suggested.</p><p>“Yeah, I guess, but where are we gonna find-”</p><p>Her question was stopped short when Chaeyoung came closer, her face taking up Dahyun’s entire field of vision. The next thing she knew, another pair of lips were on top of hers. Chaeyoung’s lips on Dahyun’s. It lasted a second, but the feeling on her mouth lasted much, much longer. It felt... fuzzy, kind of like the way mint tastes, or the way glitter looks, or the way bass notes sound.</p><p>“So I heard you got your first kiss today. Wanna tell me about it?” Chaeyoung asked, a warm smile on her face. Dahyun reciprocated the smile. All those conflicting emotions fading away.</p><p>-</p><p>Today was moving day. Chaeyoung bolted to Dahyun’s house first thing in the morning. She had to do one last thing. She had to make sure that the promise was still good. She had to make sure that Dahyun knew that the promise was above everything that the universe was throwing against them.</p><p>Chaeyoung told Dahyun that she’d always be by her side.</p><p>And Dahyun believed her.</p><p>She really shouldn’t have believed her.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Middle school sucks without Chaeyoung, and it sucks even more now that Tzuyu was homeschooled. An outsider could look at Dahyun and assume that she was a diligent student. She never caused trouble, didn’t speak out during class, and she always did all her work. It isn’t a big change from how she was in elementary school, but one thing was for certain: she was a lot lonelier.</p><p>Lately, some other kids have been spreading mean rumors about Tzuyu behind her back. What's even worse is that some kids say those mean rumors to Dahyun’s face. It's like people are always criticizing their friendship, and she never knew why. She tries not to listen to those things, of course. But sometimes it gets to her, and she has to force herself to remember that they’re all lies. There’s no way in hell she’ll let anyone ruin her friendship with Tzuyu, especially if it was because of some stupid rumors.</p><p>There was this one time the two were at the dog park, pretending the dogs were wolf hybrids and that they were the first humans to tame an animal, when some girls approached Dahyun, girls from school. They were snickering about something. They said something about Dahyun being too old to play with Tzuyu. Why wouldn’t she still be playing with Tzuyu? Friendship doesn’t expire after a certain age. Then they said something that Dahyun couldn’t ignore as easily.</p><p>
  <em> That’s not true. They’re lying. Tzuyu isn’t- </em>
</p><p>Tzuyu reassures that the rumors don't bother her, but Dahyun seems to be taking more offense to them than Tzuyu.</p><p>-</p><p>Dahyun found out that a new family moved into Chaeyoung’s old house recently. They have a daughter, Dahyun’s age. She's the new girl in school. Dahyun found out her name was Sana and that she didn’t have any friends either. She was bubbly, sweet, and had the most infectious laugh Dahyun had ever heard. It doesn't take long for Dahyun to befriend Sana.</p><p>“Dahyunnie!” Sana chased after Dahyun, hell bent on pinching her cheeks.</p><p>Dahyun tried to get away from the Japanese girl, but alas, the Japanese girl possessed great persistence that Dahyun had never encountered before in her life. In the end, Sana emerges triumphant, Dahyun’s cheeks between her fingers, her trophy of victory. Sana pinches her cheeks differently from Chaeyoung. It hurts more, but somehow her laugh makes up for it.</p><p>Sana produces a small portable camera from her pockets and takes a quick picture of Dahyun.</p><p>“Why’d you take my picture?” Dahyun asked, rubbing her cheeks.</p><p>“I like taking photos,” Sana shrugged.</p><p>She always has. She liked how photos were small fragments of frozen time, each containing a memory. She thought the memories all had some sort of <em>feeling </em>within them. She wanted to preserve those feelings forever. Sure, it wasn’t the art that Chaeyoung made with her own two hands, but it was still art that Dahyun could appreciate. It was the beauty in the world from Sana’s perspective, the beauty in the world that Sana thought was worth saving.</p><p>Middle school sucks a little bit less with Sana.</p><p>-</p><p>Dahyun was twelve when she invited someone other than Chaeyoung or Tzuyu to the treehouse.</p><p>“Can I see the photos you took?” Dahyun requested.</p><p>Sana sat next to Dahyun and handed her the camera. Each photo had different subjects and different perspectives. There were photos of frogs swimming in the stream, birds resting in the trees, and Dahyun walking a few paces in front of the camera. It wasn't until Dahyun saw the photograph of the treehouse that she felt <em>something</em>. It felt like the way seventh chords sounded. Nostalgia, maybe? Longing?</p><p>Dahyun told Sana about Chaeyoung that day, about how Chaeyoung had this treehouse built for the two of them, how Chaeyoung and Tzuyu used the treehouse to escape from the world around them, how Chaeyoung left her and their entire friendship behind.</p><p>Dahyun didn’t want to be mad at Chaeyoung.</p><p>But she was.</p><p>-</p><p>Sana is a lot different as a girlfriend than as a friend. She’s a lot touchier (and that’s saying a lot. Even before, every time she was with Dahyun she needed some form of physical contact between them). There was a lot more cheek pinching to the point where she had to kiss Dahyun’s cheeks to make the pain go away.</p><p>She’s also a lot sweeter. She compliments Dahyun a lot, usually following up with a photograph. She might as well just be Dahyun’s personal photographer. You could tell by her photographs just how fond of Dahyun she was. She even calls Dahyun her prince. Dahyun doesn’t exactly know why, but the sentiment is endearing nonetheless.</p><p>They’re now officially teenagers, doing the teenager stuff that Dahyun once fantasized about.</p><p>Their first kiss happened after Sana’s usual cheek-pinching session when she got a little brave. she trailed kisses from Dahyun’s cheek to her mouth. It was short and sweet, and different from Chaeyoung, but she liked it. Their first date was at the treehouse when Sana wanted to have a picnic. She made bento for her and Dahyun, and she made sure to bring chocolate milk. Dahyun brought her guitar, and she even compiled a setlist of songs and played them for Sana.</p><p>Being a teenager wasn't as magical as Dahyun fantasized it to be, but it wasn't as horrible as it could've been. Chaeyoung wasn't there with her like she originally hoped, but at least Sana was.</p><p>-</p><p>At some point, Dahyun learned that it’s best not to compare Sana to Chaeyoung. She doesn’t know why she did it in the first place, but every time Sana made her feel happy, she couldn’t help but remember how Chaeyoung made her happy. It’s absurd. Comparing Chaeyoung to Sana was like comparing apples to oranges, like trying to say the taste of matcha reminded you of the taste of strawberry.</p><p>Dahyun always felt a twinge of guilt for doing that; she hated doing it, as a matter of fact. Sana was one of the best people in the world, and she deserves more than to be a constant reminder of someone who wasn’t in Dahyun’s life anymore. Sure, Sana wasn’t Chaeyoung, but she’s <em> Sana </em>, the one girl who made middle school bearable. Dahyun couldn’t ask for anything better.</p><p>It’s a lot easier said than done.</p><p>-</p><p>“Do you know what high school you wanna go to next year?” Tzuyu questioned.</p><p>“Of course.” Dahyun knew which high school she wanted to go to since the beginning of middle school. There was a boarding school for art and music in town, and she didn’t have to dorm there since it was only a bike ride away. “Sana’s going there too. How about you?”</p><p>“I think I’ll stick to homeschool,” Tzuyu answered truthfully, earning a frown from the other girl.</p><p>Their conversation was interrupted by a breeze that knocked down one of Chaeyoung’s drawings from the wall. It was a painting of a princess in a castle, with two knights protecting her from zombies. Dahyun picked it up and stared at it for a moment.</p><p>“I know you miss her, I do too,” Tzuyu said softly.</p><p>“I don’t fucking miss her.” The harsh words left Dahyun’s lips as if she had been saving them for a while. “She left without a warning and made a promise she couldn’t keep. She’s a liar and a shitty friend.”</p><p>“You know that’s not true. She didn’t want to leave.” Tzuyu tried her best to calm Dahyun down.</p><p>“I <em> hate </em>her.” Dahyun crumbled up the painting.</p><p>“You don’t hate her.”</p><p>“You don’t know <em> what </em>I feel.”</p><p>Dahyun threw the paper on the floor and went home. The funny thing was, she didn't know what she felt either.</p><p>-</p><p>Dahyun prefers Sana as a friend rather than as a girlfriend. It was pretty ironic, considering that they’ve been dating for half of the time they’ve known each other. She’s not entirely sure why she prefers it that way. It could be because of the overbearing amount of time they spend with each other (or the fact that she never really stops thinking about Chaeyoung).</p><p>Too bad they couldn’t make it to high school. Actually, they broke up the summer before.</p><p>“Sana, I don’t think I feel the same way as you do,” Dahyun admitted.</p><p>“Oh,” was all Sana could say.</p><p>“Don’t get me wrong though. I really value our relationship, but I think I only value us... as a friendship. If that makes sense…”</p><p>Sana was still at a loss for words.</p><p>“Well, I was thinking, and talking with Tzuyu. She helped me realize that I don’t like you like <em> that </em>anymore... Not for a while, I think,” Dahyun confessed pitifully.</p><p>Sana was in disbelief. Being dumped was one thing, but this… “<em>Tzuyu </em> made you realize that?” Dahyun nodded in response to Sana’s hostile words. “For fucks sake, Dahyun. You <em> do </em>realize that Tzuyu-”</p><p>
  <em> That’s not true. She’s lying. Tzuyu isn’t- </em>
</p><p>Dahyun and Sana didn’t talk to each other that summer.</p><p>-</p><p>It was the last week of summer when Dahyun realized something important. She was going into a new school without any friends... again. She decided to make up with Sana because, to be honest, she could not be able to survive without Sana. It doesn’t take that much to forgive Dahyun either, claiming that she didn’t want to see Dahyun alone throughout high school. Actually, her real reasoning was that she had grown fond of Dahyun, and summer without the girl was Sana’s personalized purgatory. Sana couldn’t survive without Dahyun either.</p><p>They agreed to go into high school as friends. However they had acted prior to their romantic relationship would be the way they would act from now on.</p><p>"Platonic," Dahyun offers, giving her friend a word to attach to.</p><p>"Platonic," Sana agrees, associating the word with all things Dahyun.</p><p>-</p><p>High school was a whole ass other dimension. Dahyun was completely surrounded by art kids going on about things that she really didn’t understand or care about. She decides that it would be too hard and intimidating to be friends with these kids.</p><p>There was a socializing event after the first day of school. It was meant for the first year students who recently moved into the dorms. Dahyun thought she had a free pass considering that she already lived in town; Sana, however, had other plans.</p><p>“Dude, c’mon. We <em> have </em>to make some friends,” Sana says, dragging Dahyun by the arm.</p><p>“But I live here!” Dahyun protests.</p><p>“That’s no excuse! You can’t walk around high school telling people your only friend is your ex.” Sana struggles to open the doors with one hand, as her other hand was preoccupied with keeping Dahyun from running away.</p><p>“I'm not planning on telling that to anyone!”</p><p>Sana finally gets the door to open, and thanks to her natural clumsiness and Dahyun’s unwillingness to attend a school-ran social event, the two burst through the doors, toppling on top of each other, resulting in a loud <em> thud. </em>They quickly find their seats to avoid even more embarrassment, but in their scramble, Sana manages to bump into more chairs.</p><p>“Great going,” Dahyun whispers to Sana as she shields her eyes from her peers with her hand.</p><p>“Maybe if you weren’t so stubborn we wouldn’t have fallen,” Sana retorts.</p><p>“Okay, settle down everyone,” an energetic voice on the microphone sounds throughout the room. “I'm Byulyi, an upperclassman, and I'm going to be emceeing today!” The room of first years directly contrasted Byulyi’s energy. It was like a room full of old people playing bingo. “I hope you guys have been adjusting well to our school and getting along with your roommates because you can’t change them!” Dahyun was repulsed with the idea of sharing a bedroom with a total stranger.</p><p>“Man, I wish I had a roommate,” Sana whispers to Dahyun.</p><p>“How am I your only friend?” Dahyun replies. “You're way more outgoing than I am.”</p><p>“Because middle schoolers suck,” Sana shrugs, simply put. “A bunch of pubescent assholes.”</p><p>“I know ice breakers can be a little cheesy, but we all went through it and you guys have to do it now too,” Byulyi announces as the room groaned in unison. “Alright, everyone move your chairs into a circle!” She explains the rules while the students arrange their seats. She guides one girl to the middle and takes the chair out of the circle. The girl had short, bright pink hair. her outfit was entirely black, save for the striped long sleeve under her oversized band shirt, which was tucked into her high-waisted pants. chains generously decorating her pants and neck.</p><p>
  <em> Holy shit. Holy fucking shit. </em>
</p><p>It was <em>Chaeyoung</em>, in the flesh. Her mom definitely doesn’t pick out her outfits anymore.</p><p>The rest of the evening was a blur. Dahyun didn’t pay attention to the ice breakers; she couldn’t. All she could do was stare at Chaeyoung and think, <em> why did she come back? </em>There's a part of Dahyun that hopes Chaeyoung came back to make good on her promise, to repair the broken friendship that she left behind.</p><p>Once the event was over, Dahyun regrouped with Sana, an evident scowl on her face.</p><p>“Oh, c’mon. There’s no way ice breakers were <em>that </em>bad,” Sana says, discontent with Dahyun’s face.</p><p>“No, that’s not it. remember Chaeyoung?”</p><p>“Old best friend Chaeyoung that moved away abruptly thus leaving you friendless? <em> That </em>Chaeyoung?”</p><p>“No, the Chaeyoung that tried to eat a candle from her birthday cake,” Dahyun replies sarcastically. “Yes, <em> that </em>Chaeyoung.”</p><p>“Oh my god, is she here?” Sana looks around, not exactly knowing what she was searching for.</p><p>“Yes, and I’ve been trying to avoid her. So let’s go home. If you see an egirl with pink hair, walk faster,” Dahyun grabs Sana’s hand and makes her way toward the exit.</p><p>“You don’t want to talk to her?” Sana asks, confusion evident in her voice. She releases herself from Dahyun’s grip and stops dead in her tracks.</p><p>“Nope,” Dahyun simply says, pulling Sana harder when she sees the same shade of pink flash in the sea of people.</p><p>“Why not? It seems a little bit like fate or destiny that she came back,” Sana muses.</p><p>“We can talk about the intricacies of fate once we get the hell out of here,” Dahyun says, finally leaving the building with Sana in tow.</p><p>“Okay, fine. But if I end up being friends with her, I will not hesitate to introduce her to you.”</p><p>-</p><p>“Chaeyoung’s back?!” Tzuyu was astonished.</p><p>“Yeah, but I kind of avoided her,” Dahyun replies only to see Tzuyu’s confused face looking back at her. “Look, I’m a little weirded out and confused. I just don’t think I would’ve been able to face her.”</p><p>“Don’t tell me you’re still mad at her.”</p><p>“I’m not… At least I don’t think I am…” Dahyun says bashfully. “I mean, when I saw her I didn’t feel an overwhelming sense of anger. I just felt… surprised, I think. And weird.”</p><p>“Why weird?”</p><p>“Because Sana said something about fate and destiny, and I get the notion, but if Chaeyoung truly came back for me, she would look for me herself,” Dahyun rationalizes, completely terrified to reconnect with her old best friend. “If she’s gonna keep her promise, then she’s gonna keep it. I’m not getting my hopes up if she doesn’t.”</p><p>-</p><p>The first year of high school goes by fast, and Dahyun was right about keeping low expectations. Chaeyoung never found her, and she kept avoiding Chaeyoung (which she feels slightly guilty for, but she doesn’t want to admit it). At least now she has more than one friend. Sana stuck by her side, naturally, and the two became friends with Nayeon, a star volleyball player with a crazy passion for singing, and Jeongyeon, an extremely fashionable girl with her heart set on cinematography.</p><p>In all honesty, Dahyun would’ve been perfectly fine with just these three girls by her side for the rest of high school, but there was always the tiniest thought in the back of her mind that told her it would be better had she tried to reconnect with Chaeyoung.</p><p>Speaking of Chaeyoung, Dahyun had seen that the girl had found herself her own tight knit friend group which consisted of three other girls and, surprisingly, two boys. Dahyun had already accepted the fact that Chaeyoung had completely changed (as implied by her fashion sense and her association with boys) and forgotten about her, that the two would never be reunited again. That still didn’t stop Dahyun from occasionally looking her way in between bites of her lunch. Sana ignored it, wanting to uphold her friend’s wish, but Nayeon couldn’t help but notice the shorter girl glancing away.</p><p>“What? Do you have a crush or something? Why are you always looking at that table?” Nayeon teases, voice quiet enough that only Dahyun hears.</p><p>Dahyun immediately looks away and takes a bite of her food. “It’s nothing,” she says looking back at Nayeon.</p><p>“Yeah, sure.” Nayeon scans the group that Dahyun had been looking at previously. She couldn’t tell which member Dahyun was looking at specifically, but her eyes did land on one of the girls in particular. The girl had black hair and bangs and she wore big round glasses that looked to have no lenses in them at all. As if the girl sensed someone was staring at her, she looked up and made brief eye contact with Nayeon, in which both girls immediately looked away to save themselves from any further awkwardness.</p><p>Dahyun had watched the whole ordeal with an eyebrow raised. “I’m willing to never mention this again if you are.”</p><p>“Deal.”</p><p>-</p><p>“So are you gonna shoot your shot or what? I’m tired of watching you stalk her Instagram,” Jeongyeon asks, hoping for Nayeon to make some advancement on her crush.</p><p>It was the morning of the new school year and the four girls were enjoying each other’s company before the day officially started. Nayeon had been watching her crush skateboard across the courtyard for a couple of minutes now, occasionally adding to the conversation.</p><p>“If we have any classes together this year, I’ll talk to her, okay?” Nayeon assures, eyes never leaving the skateboarding girl.</p><p>“Nayeon, you are pathetic,” Sana deadpans and grabs Nayeon’s wrist. “C’mon, I’m tired of this shit.”</p><p>The two make their way towards the girl with Dahyun and Jeongyeon lagging shortly behind, not wanting to miss out on whatever antics Sana has up her sleeve.</p><p>“Hey. Hi. We saw you skateboarding over there and my friend thinks that you looked really cool,” Sana greets the girl while gesturing to Nayeon. “I’m Sana, by the way. This is Nayeon.” Nayeon could only smile and nod along (Mentally, she was thinking of ways to strangle Sana).</p><p>The girl looked around at the unfamiliar faces and awkwardly smiled. “Thanks… I’m Momo…” was all she said to them.</p><p>“Hey, Momo! Jihyo and Mina already went inside!” An unexpected voice abruptly calls out from behind the girls.</p><p>Dahyun swears that she forgets about oxygen the moment she discovers the voice’s owner.</p><p>“Dahyun?” The voice questions.</p><p>“Chaeyoung,” she answers.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>this won't be the only saida i promise lol</p><p>also i've been working on this fic for about a year now hhh maybe i can get it all out by dubu day but i don't want to stress myself out too much.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dahyun was nearly sure that the first morning of the new school year had been a hallucination, that everything past Momo learning Nayeon’s name was merely a figment of her imagination, that she wasn’t sitting at a lunch table being simultaneously occupied by both her friend group and Chaeyoung’s friend group. She was almost positive that multiple sets of eyes were not darting between her and Chaeyoung. She was just about convinced until she felt Sana’s hand squeeze her own, bringing her back to reality. She doesn’t exactly understand how she came to be in this situation in the first place. Just last class she was coming up with reasons to avoid going to lunch at all, only to be thwarted by Sana who conveniently shared that class with her.</p><p>Chaeyoung talks first. “I used to live here until I was ten.”</p><p>Dahyun nodded along as she inspected the small carvings into the table’s wood. Sana kept all her attention on Dahyun; she already knew the gist of this story already. She was more concerned about how Dahyun was coping with the situation. She knew Dahyun was never the best at large groups (The poor girl struggled to socialize with both Nayeon and Jeongyeon for at least two weeks). She wanted to anchor her as much as possible.</p><p>“Come to think of it,” Sana speaks up, shifting attention off of Dahyun for a while. “We barely learned each other’s names.” Dahyun shoots Sana an appreciative smile.</p><p>Chaeyoung’s friends consisted of Momo, a dancer with impressive skateboarding abilities, Jihyo, a singer described as a god amongst men and captain of the girls’ volleyball team, Mina, a dancer with a side dream of becoming a famous Twitch streamer, Hyunjun, a dancer that could easily be mistaken for a supermodel, and Changbin, a songwriter whose Soundcloud should honestly be viral by now.</p><p>The attention never really completely left Dahyun. Naturally, Sana kept a close eye on Dahyun, rubbing her thumb over Dahyun’s hand to keep her grounded, asking if she was okay every time she glanced downwards. At the direct opposite side of the table, Chaeyoung kept looking back at Dahyun, trying to piece together her previous knowledge of the girl, and the newly found information of her and her friends.</p><p>She felt overjoyed to be reunited with her old best friend, but at the same time, she felt somewhat remorseful that she had not tried to find her in the first year of being back in her hometown. To be fair, the girl had little to no knowledge of the town other than her old house and the way to get from there to Dahyun’s (She was ten; that was the only information she ever needed), and she didn’t even know if Dahyun had gone to this school. But lo and behold, the stars aligned, a butterfly flapped its wings, and the two girls met once again. Maybe it's destiny? Maybe it's plain old butterfly effect? She doesn't care; she has her best friend back.</p><p>-</p><p>Dahyun doesn’t know if she has poor impulse control, or if the voice of Tzuyu in the back of her head needs to shut up for once. She didn’t want to be here, in this milkshake parlor that she had previously visited countless times as a child, sitting opposite of the same person she used to visit with. Honestly, she could’ve just called in a raincheck. She could’ve just pretended like she met Chaeyoung for the first time and that every confusing, unintelligible feeling and thought piling up in the depths of her mind didn’t exist anymore. But alas, the unfortunate girl was forced to face all her problems at once, with nothing but a chocolate milkshake to soothe her.</p><p>“I don’t know if you’re quiet because you don’t know where to start or if you’re too nervous to start at all,” Chaeyoung chuckles lightheartedly.</p><p>“A little bit of both,” Dahyun replies carefully, taking another sip of the chocolate drink before her.</p><p>“If I knew that we were going to the same school I would’ve looked for you right away. I mean, I would’ve looked for you at your house too, but I’m not really good at remembering addresses,” Chaeyoung admits as she swirls the strawberry drink with her straw.</p><p>“Yeah, funny story, Sana lives at your old house now.”</p><p>“Oh really?” Chaeyoung laughs, “When she told me that she replaced me after I left, I didn’t think it went that deep.”</p><p>“Actually, if you didn’t kiss me at the treehouse she would’ve replaced you as my first kiss instead.” The words slipped out of Dahyun’s mouth faster than she could even think about it. A terrible habit for someone who copes with humor.</p><p>“Oh,” Chaeyoung simply says with eyebrows raised, taking a rather long sip from her milkshake. Dahyun decides that she accepts death at this moment. “I see we’re picking up right where we left off.” Dahyun tilts her head and looks at Chaeyoung with raised eyebrows. “Remember the conversation we had that led up to me kissing you?”</p><p>Dahyun silently cringed as she was reminded of the conversation. “I thought I’d be living like a teenager in a movie, but the only person I ever interacted with was Sana.”</p><p>Chaeyoung places her elbows on the table and rests her head in her hands. “No, but seriously, you need to tell me everything about how Sana was your second ever kiss.”</p><p>“If I recall correctly, I wanted to talk to you about my firsts, not my seconds.”</p><p>“Okay then. Tell me about your firsts.”</p><p>Dahyun smiles and sighs, “It was Sana.”</p><p>“And Sana was your first…”</p><p>“First date, first girlfriend, first love, first breakup.” Dahyun lists.</p><p>“Bro, you have to tell me that entire story in detail. It’s, like, best friend etiquette.”</p><p>Talking with Chaeyoung was so easy. It always has been. Even if those complicated emotions bubbled at the back of Dahyun’s mind, she could just ignore it for a moment, just enough so she could focus her attention to how good it felt to just <em> talk </em>with Chaeyoung again. Sure she argued that one day she would have to be up front with her feelings, whatever they were, but she wanted to be a little selfish. She wanted to, for once, just enjoy Chaeyoung and how effortless it was to be with her.</p><p>-</p><p>In all honesty, it still felt a little weird to Dahyun. Previously, she could count all her friends on one hand. Now, she was at a school sports event with six people she didn’t even interact with two weeks ago. Jihyo had dragged the entire group out to watch the girls' volleyball game today. Dahyun was sitting between Sana, who was taking action shots of Jihyo, and Chaeyoung, who was sketching Nayeon. It still felt like a dream, that randomly her old friend, her new friends, and her soon to be friends had somehow combined into some amalgamation that <em> should </em>feel perfect but has some small, indescribable feeling that makes it just the slightest bit eerie. Obviously, it would take some time to warm up to Chaeyoung’s friends, but in theory, Chaeyoung herself should be a breeze, right? Well, with the fact that Dahyun had avoided her for a solid year and that one phase in Dahyun’s life where she spent her days actively despising Chaeyoung, it was safe to say that Dahyun felt a tinge of guilt whenever she saw the girl in question.</p><p>Dahyun decided to focus the rest of her attention on the game. She knew nothing about the sport, but it was still interesting to watch. After noticing the sheer amount of power Jihyo puts into hitting the ball, it makes perfect sense why Jihyo is so damn buff. That girl is a powerhouse. <em> My arms would break in half if she hit the ball towards me,</em> Dahyun thought. She then looked at Nayeon, who handled the ball differently than Jihyo. Instead of hitting the ball with full force, Nayeon seemed to toss the ball perfectly into the air in the direction of Jihyo, who was already jumping into the air. Dahyun may know nothing about volleyball, but she could tell that what she was watching was perfect teamwork (It kinda reminds her of when she and Chaeyoung used to tag team sword fighting against rival pirates).</p><p>As much as she would love to stop thinking and overthinking about her guilt, it was basically impossible with the one fueling her guilt right next to her. She calls herself stupid for believing in a silly promise made so many years ago, she thinks of herself as selfish for harboring anger against something that was out of her best friend’s control, she blames herself for actively avoiding said best friend for an entire year. Maybe it’s easier to just pretend that Chaeyoung was never a part of her childhood, that the two had only met not too long ago. It seems like the only solution that would get rid of the guilt. <em> Or maybe it’s better to actually address your feelings and talk to Chaeyoung about them, </em>Tzuyu’s words echo in Dahyun’s head.</p><p>She ignores them.</p><p>-</p><p>Sometimes Dahyun spent lunch alone. On those days, she wouldn’t go to the group’s usual table, and she wouldn’t inform them either. It was like a coin flip to decide whether or not she would show up. Sana always went looking for her on those days. Sometimes Sana would come back with Dahyun hand in hand and most times she wouldn’t come back at all (Presumably, she found Dahyun and decided to stay with her instead of forcing her to join the bigger group). Today, however, Sana found Dahyun playing piano in one of the school’s various practice rooms.</p><p>“Hey,” Sana steps into the room. “I have takoyaki.”</p><p>“Then get your ass in here,” Dahyun demands as she continues playing.</p><p>Sana set her stuff down and sat next to Dahyun, feeding her. Dahyun happily accepted it, not missing a beat in her playing.</p><p>“Writing a song?” Sana asks, taking a piece for herself.</p><p>“Trying to. I only have a chorus,” Dahyun says, flustered.</p><p>“Well let’s hear what you have so far.”</p><p>Dahyun faces Sana with her mouth ajar, shit-eating grin adorning her face. Sana’s infectious laugh fills the room, Dahyun’s laugh following suit. (Sana almost doesn’t feed her in order to hear her laugh a little longer.)</p><p>Sana can’t believe she used to date this loser. She kinda can’t believe they broke up either. She was pretty convinced by the end of middle school they’d get married and own three cats (Then again, Sana is the hopelessly romantic type). After their breakup, they never really stopped being touchy. In fact, the only thing that’s changed is that they don’t kiss (Sana sometimes misses that though, but she blames it on teenage hormones). She supposes it isn’t all too healthy to be <em> this </em>close with her ex-girlfriend, but Dahyun was Sana’s best friend, her savior, her heroic prince; how else is she supposed to act? Dahyun was the only person in middle school to put up with Sana’s eccentricity, the only person to make her feel like she belonged in the middle school that continously alienated her. She sure as hell isn’t gonna let a little breakup ruin the best friendship she’s ever had. It’s not like anything bad is going to happen them.</p><p>Dahyun begins to play a melodious tune, then starts singing a snippet of the unfinished song. She sang about melting, about a love sweeter than ice cream. Sana was so focused on Dahyun’s singing and piano playing that she doesn’t hear Dahyun’s normal speaking voice making notes about her unfinished song. One would think that hearing Dahyun sing to her a million times before would desensitize her, but that was far from the case. Every note, every lyric, every melody never failed to fill Sana with pure fondness to the girl next to her.</p><p>“Cute song. Do you plan on serenading a certain girl?” Sana asks while batting her eyes, her tone filling with playfulness.</p><p>“If I wanted to write a song for you, it would be a bitter breakup song,” Dahyun retorts, writing on her sheet music.</p><p>“I never said that I was the girl.” This time Sana was the one wearing the shit-eating grin. “And what do <em> you </em>have to be bitter about?”</p><p>“That my ex is extremely clingy; I can’t even pick up anyone new,” Dahyun says, returning Sana’s playfulness.</p><p>“I don’t think that one’s my fault,” Sana gets the final say, popping the last piece of takoyaki in her mouth.</p><p>-</p><p>Pulling all-nighters takes a huge ass toll on people. Dahyun found out the hard way. Not only was she suffering a creative block in her songwriting class, but she was also tasked with a lengthy essay for her literature class (which she luckily finished before having to get ready for school). Sana had to drag the poor girl around all day. She even gave Dahyun a piggyback ride to lunch where the girl could finally get her much deserved rest.</p><p>It was the perfect weather for eating outdoors. The sun was out, not too harsh, but enough to feel the warmth on your skin. There was a slight breeze, not so much that papers would be flying everywhere, but just enough to create the perfect ambient sound of leaves rusting on the trees. Too bad Dahyun was knocked out, taking up more than half the bench and resting her head on Sana’s lap. She looked so peaceful sleeping, the way her muscles look when they’re natural and relaxed, the way the leaves created an abstract pattern of shadows on her face, the way Sana could tilt her head just slightly to perfectly frame the girl’s sleeping form. <em> Click</em>.</p><p>Another thing that hasn’t changed since their breakup was Sana’s urge to photograph Dahyun. She was the perfect model. Her energy always imprinted itself on Sana’s photographs without fail, her actions were too memorable not to preserve, and not to mention the girl’s natural beauty and her flawless side profile. If Sana didn’t become friends with the others her entire portfolio might as well just be Dahyun (It was only about fifty percent Dahyun when she applied to this school). There was also something about the photographs of Dahyun that produced a specific <em> feeling</em>. All photos have a feeling to them, Sana believes, but the ones of Dahyun always felt... special, in a way. It had the same feeling as a photo of a sunrise, one where the sun is just barely peeking up from the horizon and the sky is trying to blend orange and purple.</p><p>Oh how Sana loves that sunrise feeling.</p><p>-</p><p>Dahyun had never been to a party before. The last party she went to was Jackson Wang’s eighth birthday party, which she only attended because of the rumors of a giant bouncy castle and a guest appearance from Shrek (The poor soul in the green costume had to endure hours of small children climbing all over them).</p><p>“It’s not even a real party,” Tzuyu corrects. “You’re just gonna be participating in underage drinking with a bunch of other girls in a dorm room.”</p><p>“If that’s not a party, I don’t know what is,” Dahyun quips. “So you coming or what?”</p><p>“Ew, no. Alcohol is gross, and I know basically nobody at that party.”</p><p>Dahyun wishes Tzuyu would accept her invitations to social gatherings, but Tzuyu has a complicated relationship with anyone who isn't Dahyun. There wasn’t one significant event that triggered her incompatibility with other people, but it was more of a series of smaller events. These girls made fun of Dahyun and Tzuyu for this, those boys made fun of Dahyun and Tzuyu for that. After a while, they decided to avoid going out in public at all.</p><p>Dahyun gave Tzuyu a pitiful smile. “You <em> could </em>get to know them. There’s only seven other girls, and you personally know one of them.”</p><p>“No, thanks,” Tzuyu reassures Dahyun. “I seriously don’t wanna be around a bunch of drunk teenagers. You have fun though.”</p><p> </p><p>Dahyun waits in front of her house for Sana to pick her up, mindlessly playing games on her phone until she hears the ringing of a bicycle. She looks up to see the bubbly girl in question, furiously pedaling towards her.</p><p>“I'm here to pick up my date,” Sana announces, somewhat out of breath.</p><p>“Aw, who said chivalry is dead?” Dahyun says, hopping onto the back of Sana’s bike and wrapping her arms around the other girl (There goes that sunrise feeling). “If I so much as feel a wobble on this bike, we’re switching.”</p><p>“Way to put faith in me,” Sana says as she makes her way towards the school.</p><p>Miraculously, the girls arrive at their destination in one piece. Not once did the clumsy girl controlling the bike drive them into a tree, curb, or lamppost. They meet Momo, who was carrying the contraband, at one of the building’s side entrances. They walk through the dorm hallways, trying not to raise suspicion by fellow students, and make their way to Jihyo and Nayeon’s room.</p><p>“I got the goods,” Momo announces as the door locks.</p><p>The eight girls sat in a circle on the floor. At the center of the circle sat a deck of cards and the bottles of soju, courtesy of Momo. It was a free-for-all game of Uno, except the penalties in the game were replaced with drinking. Each of the eight girls were absolutely ruthless. It was impossible to go a full rotation without some form of sabotage. Before they knew it, they had two and a half empty bottles of what used to be soju. From that moment onward, they decided it was better to drink at their own pace.</p><p>Dahyun was leaning against the closet on the floor, trying (and failing) to comprehend what it’s like being drunk for the first time, when suddenly, she feels the warmth of another girl’s arm next to her own.</p><p>“Hey, you good?” She hears Chaeyoung’s voice.</p><p>Dahyun grips Chaeyoung’s hand and looks her directly in the eyes. “I'm drunk.”</p><p>Chaeyoung laughs in response, “Yeah, all of us are.”</p><p>“You know, I always see those movies where kids get drunk for the first time, and they’re all like ‘I'm fine’ and shit, but bro,” Dahyun slurs through her words. “I'm fucking better than fine. I'm <em> elastic </em>.”</p><p>“I don’t think that’s the right word.” Chaeyoung tries to bring Dahyun’s attention back to her by pinching her cheeks. “Did you eat before coming here?”</p><p>“Nope!” Dahyun answers, a naive grin spreading on her warm, blushed face.</p><p>“I'm gonna get you some water,” Chaeyoung gets up. “You stay right here.”</p><p>Dahyun plays with her cross necklace and giggles to herself. “Shit, I'm going to hell.”</p><p>Sana takes the newly open spot next to Dahyun and sits down. “If getting drunk is what gets you to realize that, then I think what happened in middle school is gonna come as a big surprise to you.”</p><p>“OH SHIT!” Dahyun blurts out. “I'm gay, dude. And we used to kiss!"</p><p>“Yeah, we did a lot of that.”</p><p>Dahyun changes her position to fully face Sana. “D’ya ever miss it?”</p><p>“Wh-what?” Sana stutters.</p><p>“Kissing. Do you ever miss it? Because, like, I think girls are nice and sweet and I wanna kiss one so bad.” She grasps Sana’s hands, “and you’re a girl, and you're nice and sweet, and if I'm going to hell for being drunk and kissing girls, fuck it, I wanna do both at the same time. YOLO.”</p><p>“If you’re implying that we should kiss, I refuse after hearing you unironically say ‘yolo.’”</p><p>“Okay, I’m sorry. I take it back. So do you wanna make out or not?” Dahyun asks, leaning in so much that Sana can smell her perfume.</p><p>Sana really can’t compete with that wide grin and drunk eyes. “Sure, fuck it. Why not?”</p><p>In a split second, Dahyun’s lips are Sana’s for the first time in what feels like forever. Sana can’t tell if it’s the buzz in her head or something different, but that sunrise feeling spreads to every part of her body, and it doesn’t go away when they pull away either.</p><p>
  <em> Oh.</em>
</p><p>“Sana,” Dahyun whispers, still slurring her words. “You’re a very good kisser.”</p><p><em> It’s definitely the buzz</em>, Sana rationalizes. <em> And maybe it's making hormones go off too. Yeah, that’s why drunk people have sex so often. This will all go away when I sober up. </em></p><p>“Thanks, Dahyunnie” was all Sana could say.</p><p>-</p><p>Dahyun remembers that night in small fragments. Somewhere between getting tag teamed by Jeongyeon and Nayeon in Uno and Jihyo picking her up from the floor, she remembers half a second in which she and Sana shared a kiss. She and Sana kissed? Her thoughts are stopped short by the overbearing pounding she feels in her head (She now fully understands Tzuyu’s warning of the usage of alcohol). She doesn’t want to spend the rest of her hangover alone (and she certainly doesn’t want to spend it with her family), so she decides to text Chaeyoung.</p><p>
  <b>[10:32] du-bro: i'm dying</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[10:35] cha-chaeng: that’s rough buddy</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[10:36] du-bro: seriously i'm dying</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[10:36] du-bro: of boredom</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[10:36] du-bro: and a hangover</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[10:36] du-bro: send help</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[10:37] du-bro: and pancakes :^)</b>
</p><p>The two were at the treehouse, eating breakfast from a fast food restaurant. Well, that’s what they were trying to do. It was Dahyun’s first ever hangover, and she was not handling it well. Midway through her meal, she gave up sitting up straight and collapsed onto Chaeyoung’s lap, in which Chaeyoung had to start feeding Dahyun the rest of her food. Once Chaeyoung was finished with her own food she looked down to see that the girl on her lap was knocked out.</p><p>Chaeyoung recalls the multiple times in which a rather sleepy Dahyun would be in attendance during the lunch break. The image isn’t too different from the current Dahyun resting on her lap: peaceful and cute, like a kitten. Although, Chaeyoung would usually be a seat or two away while she would observe the girl in this state (and the girl would normally be leaning on Sana, not that Chaeyoung really cared). <em> Would it be creepy if she just woke up and saw me staring at her like this? </em>Chaeyoung thought.</p><p>Her thoughts were interrupted by Dahyun’s sudden movement. Dahyun fixed herself so that her head was facing Chaeyoung, revealing leftover syrup on her chin. Chaeyoung grabbed a napkin and wiped the syrup off of her friend’s chin, careful not to wake the girl up. Chaeyoung’s hand lingered for a moment when she remembered what she saw last night. Had it been Nayeon and Momo, she would’ve been elated, had it been some random pairing like Jeongyeon and Mina, she would’ve been surprised, but overall supportive, but the one pair that she witnessed last night had made her feel nothing but confused. She could always just write it off as a drunk interaction between two girls who were truly secure in their friendship, but from the look on Sana’s face, there were some doubts brewing up in Chaeyoung’s mind. At the same time, however, Dahyun had elaborated that she does not plan on being romantic with Sana anymore… Nothing but confusion.</p><p>“What’s up?” Dahyun asks as she sits up.</p><p>“You had food on your face,” Chaeyoung answers as normally as she could.</p><p>“Oh. Thanks.”</p><p>They sat there for a moment, holding eye contact (Dahyun swears Chaeyoung’s eyes darted down for a split second). It’s silent, save for the ambient nature surrounding the treehouse. The smell of maple syrup continues to waft in the air. The scene was as still as one of Sana’s photographs.</p><p>Chaeyoung is the first to speak up, “You good?”</p><p>Dahyun responds with a weak smile, still somewhat groggy, “I'm managing.”</p><p>The girls decide to spend the rest of their day at their beloved childhood treehouse (Dahyun refused to travel anywhere else). Chaeyoung decided to pass time by drawing the scenery, one that she’s seen many times as a child, but was unable to recreate in accordance to her full vision. Usually, working on her artwork was her go-to destresser as it took all her focus from the world around her and placed it on the empty canvas in front of her. But right now, her focus could not be torn away from the girl intently watching her. She could not stop replaying the scene in her head, could not stop going over the implications it had on the two girls starring in it. Why did she care anyway?</p><p>-</p><p>Spending a hangover with Chaeyoung was therapeutic, ironically. In retrospect, Dahyun had been sleeping for most of it, preventing her from thinking about the guilt that weighed a thousand worlds.</p><p>“See, you enjoy the world a lot better when you’re not thinking too much about it,” Tzuyu reasons.</p><p>“It physically hurt to think,” Dahyun rebuts.</p><p>“You're gonna keep hurting yourself if you don't try to hash it out,” Tzuyu advises.</p><p>“Maybe I’m fine like this.”</p><p>“If burning yourself out is fine, then I hope you enjoy living as a pile of ash.”</p><p>Dahyun ponders for a bit. Keeping her thoughts to herself was the safe choice, it meant no confrontation, and she didn’t have to lose her most prized possession ever again, only for the small fee of constant guilt every time she was with her best friend. A small tradeoff, she argues, but Tzuyu’s indisputable logic greatly surpasses Dahyun’s emotionally loaded decisions.</p><p>“Fine. Just give me time to try to bring it up somehow.”</p><p>-</p><p>“Do you think anyone has telepathy?” Dahyun asks.</p><p>“Mina and Momo. Without a doubt,” Chaeyoung responds.</p><p>The two were in the group’s favorite outdoor spot, sitting under a tree. Momo was watching Mina play a video game on her laptop, Changbin and Hyunjun were being tutored by resident math genius Jeongyeon, and Jihyo and Nayeon were bumping a volleyball amongst themselves. This time, only Sana was missing in attendance; she had an interview with the school’s newspaper club that day.</p><p>Chaeyoung shifted her position and her arm grazed Dahyun’s for a split second. For every moment that she wasn’t being distracted by a trivial moment, Dahyun was going over every possible scenario in her mind of how to even introduce the subject and how Chaeyoung might react. Every single scene in her mind always ended in Chaeyoung disowning her or moving away again. The guilt sometimes hurt so bad that the cross necklace she wore burned her at the chest.</p><p>“Nah, it’s totally Jihyo and Nayeon. They haven’t dropped the ball once,” Dahyun points out.</p><p>Chaeyoung hums in response. “Okay, but how do you know that it’s not you and me?”</p><p>As much as Dahyun wanted to challenge that idea, she still did not want to risk that miniscule chance that Chaeyoung <em> could </em> read her mind or that convoluted conversation that she keeps mentally rehearsing. She shakes her head. “Nah, I got nothing.”</p><p>“We can work on our telepathic powers some other time. Let me finish this,” Chaeyoung says, a lighthearted laugh accompanying her words.</p><p>Dahyun looks over to the drawing in Chaeyoung’s lap. It was nearly finished, but from the looks of it, Chaeyoung was drawing the entire group, but only Mina and Momo’s figures were detailed, forcing the viewer to focus on the two girls amongst the bustle of their surroundings. Dahyun puts in an earbud, offering Chaeyoung its partner, as she rests her head on Chaeyoung’s shoulder, watching as Chaeyoung finishes up her artwork. Dahyun hated how she felt so at home like this when everything inside of her told her that she didn’t deserve it.</p><p>-</p><p>Dahyun doesn’t know how Tzuyu convinced her to talk to Chaeyoung in person. She originally wanted for it to happen over text, where she could plan out all her words and her thoughts in a way that she could properly convey her message. But no, the logical part of her believed Tzuyu’s spiel about facing her problems in person would make it feel more real, whatever that meant. So here she was, sitting in her old favorite milkshake parlor with her current favorite person in the world, not knowing what to say or how to say it. She alternated between playing with her hoodie strings and taking a sip of her drink every time she opened her mouth only for it to close again with no sound leaving her lips.</p><p>Chaeyoung observes her carefully. “Are you okay?”</p><p>Dahyun looks down at the table. “In all honesty, I don’t know.”</p><p>“It’s okay. You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to,” Chaeyoung reassures. “You never made me talk when I didn’t want to.”</p><p>Dahyun inspects the wood grain. “No, I want to, I think.” She meets Chaeyoung’s eyes for a second before looking back down. “So I’ve been thinking about how to say this, and Tzuyu kinda forced me out here to say this, but, um…” she trails off.</p><p>Chaeyoung looks down at her hands as she furrows her brows. Where had she remembered that name? Who did it belong to?</p><p>“Tzuyu?” Chaeyoung interrupts, still searching for a face to connect to said name.</p><p>“Yeah, our best friend, Tzuyu? The only other kid in school that even wanted to be our friend, Tzuyu?” Dahyun meets Chaeyoung’s eyes once again, this time with confusion.</p><p>Chaeyoung’s eyes light up as if you could see the lightbulb turning on behind them. “Oh! You mean Tzuyu, our-”</p><p>The last part of Chaeyoung’s words sounds muffled, as if Dahyun’s own ears defied her, purposely blocking out whatever words Chaeyoung would be saying right now.</p><p>“I'm sorry; could you repeat that?” Dahyun asks, focusing as hard as she could on Chaeyoung’s words, but to no avail. Whatever the shorter girl had said had been completely filtered out by the hardwiring in Dahyun’s brain.</p><p>She shakes her head, continuing her original thought. “I'm actually ashamed that I never mentioned her to you since you came back. I mean, you’re her best friend too.” She looked down to find her hoodie strings were tangled. “I guess it was a little selfish of me to keep you two separated.” She gives a light chuckle, desperately trying to alleviate the confusion and awkwardness.</p><p>Chaeyoung looks at her with a different type of confusion, like the girl had convinced herself that the earth was flat. ”Dahyun?” she calls, trying to reestablish their previous eye contact. “Tzuyu is-”</p><p>And then she hears it. The dreaded words that her brain keeps blocking out. The cruel idea that she refuses to believe. She feels as though the world around her is crumbling. Her hands feel numb and her checks were stained wet. Her heartbeat picked up and her breathing became uneven. Through the midst of her tears she could only see Chaeyoung’s bewildered face. Beyond the pounding in her ears she could only hear Chaeyoung faintly calling her name.</p><p>“You’re the last person I expected to ever say that about Tzuyu,” Dahyun finally says, voice breaking.</p><p>Chaeyoung was at a loss for words. How could she even remedy this situation? Her best friend was crying because of something she said, and she didn’t even know what was wrong about it.</p><p>Before she could even ask Dahyun what was wrong, the girl had stormed off, sobs barely stifled.</p><p>
  <em> Tzuyu isn’t. Tzuyu isn’t. Tzuyu isn’t. </em>
</p><p>Dahyun found herself repeating those words too often. Why did everyone say that about Tzuyu? Why did both her closest friends say that? What did everyone have against Tzuyu?</p><p>Dahyun wanted to scream, to cry harder, to run away to somewhere safe.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>okAY OKAY I HAVE A COMPLETED DRAFT OF THE WHOLE FIC AND I WILL BE SPACING OUT THE UPDATES SO THE LAST ONE WILL BE ON DUBU DAY OKAY POG THANK YOU FOR READING ILY &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>if i don't update in a while yell at me @uwufordubu on instagram and twitter</p></blockquote></div></div>
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